Today is one of those days when I am welling up with so much emotions inside.
Today, I sent my husband a novel – long text message ,telling the story and pouring my heart out in every word. Then later at the dinner table, I gave in and wept.
Today, I am vulnerable. And I know my husband does not want to see me like this. He needed to utter words I did not want to hear, but he needs to get his message across.
And he is right. Sometimes, I need to say No.
I guess I am too nice to a fault. Always wanting to please, always too hesitant to turn someone down.
Today is the day that I learned that sometimes I need to speak up for myself.
Now in bed, typing away on an Ipad while everybody’s asleep, I feel alone. And for the first time in a long time, I asked God to touch me because I feel like weeping all night.
My eyes, though sore, are dried of tears. I guess, God is so fast to respond. Things are not resolved yet, but I feel so much better. This reminds me of a journal entry I wrote a few years back:
” As I grow older and face circumstances in life, I came to know that God is ever present, answers every prayer and communicates with us every moment”
He is here always. Watching me nightly while I sleepily mumble my prayer. He sees me falling asleep in the middle of prayer sometimes. He is here now, making me feel that things will be okay.
Tomorrow, I’ll wake up. Not just literally. I will wake up from that long slumber of my faith.
Today I was shaken, tomorrow I will change.
Thank you , blogging world for being part of today. Now I am off to sleep.
I am sleepy now. All is good. All is good.