These Times



Last weekend, Faye turned three. She couldn’t contain her excitement. And I couldn’t either. Turning three is so much different from her past two birthdays.  As I saw the joy in her eyes as she basked in all the love and affection that were pointed towards her, I think I was a hundred times happier. I think loving someone is so wonderful in that way, because the happiness of one person actually means happiness of two. or three. or ten.

But loving kids, I think, is the most wonderful thing. Because these kids do not need much to be happy.

For example, they don’t need three tier birthday cakes to make their eyes twinkle.


They don’t need too many goodies in the table to make them giggle.

P5090112They don’t need Pinteres-y birthday decorations to have a blast. All they want is you,their favorite people, a handful of their favorite things  and they are happiest persons in the world. They are so easy to please!

My sweet girl, all she wants is to fiddle with my hair as she chugs down her bottle of milk. Believe me, to her that is paradise. Pure bliss.

To have me lay back down in bed with  her  and cuddle with her for the next ten minutes after she wakes up is a special moment for her.

To go with me to every corner of the house , to follow me around and mimic whatever I do, these are her happiness. Her greatest joys are the ones that includes me and they are as simple as having me hold her hand or listen to her story. Yet sometimes, though unaware, I always make her feel like I always need to do something as soon as she positions herself in my lap. It seems that mommy always need to get things done and cant stay beside her for  a minute longer. And for that I am so sorry.

These times, when Faye is head over heels in love with me, when all she wants is to be with me every single moment, these times are not going to last. It’s only like yesterday when I gave birth to her, and it seems she turned three in the blink of an eye, and so these times will soon be a thing of the past before I know it. These moments of childhood , it is one of the very , very precious moments that we will never get back, except in memories.

Faye’s birthdays make me happy and melancholic at the same time. Can I just make her stay at three years old? or maybe younger? I would want to go back to the times when I was breastfeeding her.  I would hold her again very close to  my chest. I would endure those sleepless nights again.  I would take her to her first day in daycare and feel those tight hugs as I say goodbye.

But I think my most favorite were those countless midnights  when I held her in my arms while I sat in bed and leaned on the wall, when it seemed that it is only her and me that’s awake in the world. The only light was from the moon which shone through the window, and in her ears, I whisper soft lullabies.

Happy third birthday my sweetest girl. All I am saying with this lengthy post is that I love you too too too much and forever. And over and over  again.




I still believe in the goodness of the world


Last night, my heart weighed heavily. But it was just really me creating drama out of something that I should not take personally. My toddler, Faye, was frantic, mad and crying as she hit me  repeatedly after I refuse to...