I certainly feel that there is relief and peace in letting go and trusting.
I used to figure out so many things. I used to calculate this, calculate that; Anticipate this and anticipate that, and truly, nothing ever comes out as a tangible result of my pointless analysis but worries and anxieties.
Being a mother and wife, and being so many things in general, I have so much in my plate and it is easy to be trapped in the assumption that I got everything in my hands and everything rely on my own limited ability. I maneuver between trying to be a proper wife, raising a good daughter , being a reliable sister and daughter and working on my career aspirations. It is always a full plate for us women, agree?
When something that I think is unpleasant is coming my way, I try in all my powers, to revert it, to delay its coming and to deny its reality.
Truth is, things does not have to be all up to me. I came to realize that I dont need to take all matters into my own little hands. Now I find peace in accepting the fact that when unpleasant things come my way and there is no way I can change them, the best that I can do and be still, be silent and be confident. I was put into this world not to worry. I am here to enjoy the graces and blessings that I am surrounded with-family, relationships, talents and nature. Uncertainties, adversities and trials are in our lives just so we can soak in the reality of our limited humanly existence , and so we can bask in God’s great love and His perfect Will and plan amidst the trying times.
Needless to say, I am not the most religious person and I fail so much at observing religious practices, but God’s grace happens to me over and over again and His message to me is always clear: He is in control and my life, our lives , are tiny but great masterpieces that He holds in His hands. His hands.
It is during the toughest times that we need to let go and let Him work on our lives.
When I had two miscarriages last year, I grieved , then I surrendered to His plan. I wanted so much to have a second baby, but I knew there were more beautiful things to come after the miscarriages. Now I cant be more thankful having complete focus and presence watching my only daughter grow by the moment. I knew God wanted me to fully enjoy this moment and that a second ( or third, or fourth ) child will come at the perfect time.
Now I believe that there is no use resisting, hiding and worrying away in this life. We can plan, and we can do our best, but at the end of the day, we can always lift everything to Him who holds our lives in His hands.
There is grace in not wanting to win every battle, whether it is in the daily glitches in my marriage, in my parenting or in my professional work.
There is peace in knowing that I can be steady amidst adversities because God always has a perfect plan.
There is confidence in knowing that I can be happy because that is what God wants me to be.