About 5 months ago, My family and I went to the airport to pick up my mother in law, who were to visit us for the first time here in Canada.
Last Monday ,We were at the airport to bid goodbye to her after staying with us for the last five months.
I really cannot begin to tell you everything that happened in between these two events, But what I know for sure is that when we went home from the airport with just us, minus my mother in law, the house felt empty.
I felt empty.
I cannot even begin to describe how strange it felt-the void, the silence. It almost killed me. I had to melt down. And thanks to my pregnancy hormones, I sobbed.
Between me, my husband and even my little daughter , We immediately felt the absence within minutes of stepping into the house. Now coming to think of it, I realized that the presence of another mother in the house was so meaningful and endearing. Having another mother figure in the house was something I didn’t imagine. Being the mother of the house for the last three years, this is something I have not prepared for. And maybe , I forgot the feeling of being mothered by someone consistently every single day.
Her presence was suddenly familiar. It was gentle yet powerful. I admit being uneasy and afraid at times because, I mean, she is my mother in law, Don’t I have to do everything perfectly around here to make a good impression ? But no. Her presence was always comforting and assuring, and her every action and words couldn’t speak of anything but love. Love for her son. Love for her granddaughter. Love for me.
I have been cared for by many mother figure in my entire life ever since I lost my own mother when I was 5. I had lots of mothers who cared for me in the person of aunts, older cousins etc. That mothering kind of love, that kind of presence, is really unique. My father was superb, he is my hero. And I am complete even with just him raising us . But there is just something special about motherly love. And that motherly love which was with us for the last five months reminded me just how I was taken care of by all the mother figures in my life as a kid.
Now being a mother myself, I feel that I am re-affirmed of the role I hold in this home. I realized just how special it is being the wife to my husband, and the mother to my child, and being the mother of the house.
May my presence be familiar and endearing just like a how a mother’s should be.
May my absence be felt, just like how we felt my mother in law’s absence.
I hope that each day, may I always be aware just how blessed I am for the gentle and loving power I possess to care for , enlighten and build a home.