Growing

How can this be? That this girl is the same tiny creature I held close to my chest for the first time two years ago.

How in the world can she be staring so intently and knowingly, when it only seems like yesterday she was helpless and dependent?

I can still remember the bouts of depression that happened a few weeks after we came home from the hospital, I cried a lot while I held her in my arms. I was happy, but unsure.  I was miserable and I was confused. How in the world can I have depression, when my heart knows that I am perfectly blessed and happy to have a newborn? It made no sense then.

But the moment I caught this little baby smiling at me while I was not looking, and continued to beam wider as I caught her eyes, I knew I did not need anything to make sense. I dropped all my concerns and surrendered everything.  I was all smitten .

And that holds true until now. Each day, each moment. As she continues to grow and becomes her own person, my amusement at this growing tiny creature never stops.

It is always a pinch in my heart whenever I have to wake her up from her deep slumbers in the morning because I have to take her to the daycare.

But in the afternoon, it is a different story. There is something so rewarding from the fondness that develops from moments of being apart. It is always a delight each time she runs to my arms and narrates in her actions and little words the adventures she had in daycare. It is a delight to see the many ways she grows each day.

I think my whole point is, she is growing so fast. Why in the world do all kids do that? It makes me weak in my knees and in my heart.