People say motherhood is the end of your old life as a carefree woman. I almost agreed to that during the first few weeks after delivery.
As much as there is joy upon having the baby, I had the feeling of being in the middle of nothingness. A slight postpartum depression has given me sad and weird emotions that I cannot longer explain now. I guess during those period , my emotions are heightened that even neutral situations seem very depressing to me.
I almost had no rest from the exhaustion from the hospital, to little to no sleep when the baby got home. The baby cluster fed from my sore cracked nipples every half an hour, all these while I was sore from stitches of giving birth.
It was a time of daily bad hair days, nasty eye bags and nightly fever and chills. I had no time left to myself.
I thought then, motherhood is really not an easy job. But things lightened up.
It was hard but It would not be like that forever. As my baby grows and the bouts of depression lifted, I became my happy old self once again. The baby brings me joy that I have never known before.
As I care for my baby, I make sure I care for myself too.
I try as much as I can to look good
To do things that fuel me
To care for my husband
To find joy everyday
I had to look after myself so I can better look after them. Its both a right and a responsibility.
Because on the sides of motherhood is still my own person. I’m not just a mother or a wife, but I’m also myself as a woman. I still have my own needs and my own unique source of happiness.